Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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