When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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