drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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