Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
dude. I can hear the air.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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