Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
