Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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