with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
