Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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