omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
