dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
