now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
