Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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