what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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