And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
