Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
