yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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