he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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