Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
