I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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