Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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