We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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