Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.