when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
this boner is exhausting
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I supernannyed him into submission