So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
