She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
