I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
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It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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