Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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