chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
