apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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