There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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