well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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