handjob tips. give me some.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
