I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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