ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
