My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I could fuck to npr.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
