I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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