someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I understand Curling. That high.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
