there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
