Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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