Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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