Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.