..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.