Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw