Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
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Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.