they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
