Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
