He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes