It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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