the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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