How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
