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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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