my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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