You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
