I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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