There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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