The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
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your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just forgot I was standing up.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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