Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
