I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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