i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize