Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
