See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize