She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
