I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
