I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
