Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
