i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
