Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
