Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
